| She broke my heart. |
[May. 27th, 2008|08:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  crushed | ] |
Complete and total adoration,
My gift to you, my heart was yours.
In ten weeks you shaped it,
In one night you murdered it.
Torn from my chest and laid at your feet,
That first step you took was the worst.
Since then you've walked a thousand miles in silence and short remark,
I still have these memories,
But we'll never see what we could have been.
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember, cause that's all you can do.
We'll never make another memory,
We'll never make another memory.
I wish I'd have died in your arms the last time we were together,
So I wouldn't have to wake without you today.
This time I thought things were real.
You said they were, what happened?
You were a priority, was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm sorry that wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 11th, 2008|03:47 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
Jade Mary Carroll; The
one who has my heart. I’ve been with her as a couple for just four day’s now and I’ve never felt this happy or amazing as I do now. She’s made me see my wrong doing’s, my mistakes, although I don’t regret anything I’ve done as each thing we do happens for a reason, I personally feel that all the bad things that has happened between Jade and I are in the past and even though the bad things were very bad I feel they have made us stronger as a couple and now were able to carry on into our lives together. Yes I have been in love before, I know how it feels, but this time is stronger, its so strong that even her saying “Hello” gives me butterflies in my stomach; its unbelievably amazing. I’ve known this girl since 05.08.07 - nine months, he he. It was rough to begin with but the day she told me she loved me 10.02.08 at first I was scared, worried but also nervous and happy as I knew I felt the same way, but I didn’t admit it straight away and then when something happens that makes you realise just how much that person means to you; then I knew I loved her. Every text, every call, every I Love You, every second we spend talking to each other, just makes my stomach do summersaults, ties in knots, I know I can’t explain what love is as it is different from how everyone else feels it, if something bad happens to Jade, or I hear her cry or get hurt it kills me inside, if she plays her jokes of, “I’ve got something to tell you, and I know I shouldn’t but” and then she pauses, my heart starts to beat fast, my stomach, sinks and my head is going on overdrive and the she comes out with “I Love You” Ooof, you don’t realise how much I want to kick her arse after that, but oddly enough it still makes me smile at the end of it. Ha ha. But that’s why I love her because I know she could never do me wrong. I love it when Jade sends me texts like this: “I'm writing this whilst having a wee. :) now just because it’s a long text don’t think I’m having a really long wee, or even a poo. :) because I’m not. I’ve stopped weeing now, :) I love you. <3 x” - Now I say that’s what you call love when you send a complete text of utter shit as I wasn’t even thinking that till I read it, but if I’m honest bet she did have a shit, ha ha she’s just trying to cover it up if I’m being truthful. As I was saying, this girl isn’t like any other girl I’ve ever met, I was out in Manchester last night, seeing all the couples just made me think of Jade, I can honestly say that all I thought about last night was Jade, I was thinking what she was up to, if she was happy, if she was smiling, and if I’m honest I just couldn’t keep away from texting her, but you know what fuck it, she’s my girl, just can’t wait for the day I can hold her, kiss her, love her, cook for her, decorate our flat, and do all the things couples do. I have a thousand images of you in an hour; all different and all coming back to the same… we've got the most amazing secrets and understandings. If I’m being fair Jade there is honestly no one I could tell my darkest secrets to other than you, you already know so much about me, yet you still have so much to discover which you shall only know as I can only tell you face to face, you’re my shinning star; I’d catch you from the sky and keep you locked away in my heart were know one will ever touch you. But i love it when she sends me texts like this as they made me smile: "WHY ARE YOU CRYING YOU NUMPTY! :) Smileeeeee because i am your girlfriend, and i love you; mega. <3 x" Jade; I’m going to take you places you never dreamed were possible, I’m going to show you the good life, were going to be so happy. Forever Love
You are my description of love
You are my description of friend
You are my description of everything
You are my description of beginning to end.
You have put me on a pedestal
You make me feel ten feet tall
You've always been there for me
You've loved me through it all. You've stood by me through thick and thin
You've always been patient and kind
Just thought I'd let you know
You're the owner of this heart of mine. So you ask how long I'll love you
Well this is what I have to say
Past, present, future, always
Forever and a day! If I’m honest i think that this is a pretty good poem that i've ever wrote :) quite proud, i really hope you like reading this, :) i really hope that it puts a smile across my baby's face, i hope it shows i love you with everything i have, with my heart and soul. You really are my perfect girlfriend. Your the only girl that the whole of my family know about as i'm just to happy to hide it, and there all proud i've found a gooden. Its such a good feeling that your family back the person you love and how understanding they are. I know i think a lot and over analyse everything, but i honest thought that i'd never fall or let myself love someone, but i opened my heart to you, you are the first proper person i've ever let myself open up to and if you were one of my friends in high school you'd of known that me opening up to someone was crazy and if i ever did let anything slip of how i felt people were shocked or amazed, but opening up with you just comes so naturally. So for that i'ma never let you go. I miss you in the morning, I long for your sweet voice. If I denied it, I'd be so remiss. I miss you in the afternoon, Darling, I love you so much. I miss you in the evening, when the curtain falls; I stare at your picture at night and just wish that you were in my arms. I miss you in the night time; I long to hold you so tightly. Please fill my heart with love. Baby a tad soppy there haha. <3 Jade Mary Carroll; Your my saviour.
I Love You.
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| Meet me. |
[May. 9th, 2008|12:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  loved | ] |
Meet me in the shadows of your heart,
The place only you and I know exists.
Take me with you and hold me in your arms.
Meet me in the stars above,
The place the highest goals live.
See the light of love shining in my eyes.
Meet me at the ocean's edge,
The place where the water cleanses.
Take me to a place of absolute purity.
Meet me at the forest's clearing,
The place where the trees part.
Where we are sheltered and safe.
Meet me in the billowy clouds,
The place where heaven and earth touch.
Dance with me in the sky and share our joy.
Meet me on the mountain's peak.
The place where you can breathe deeply.
Inhale my essence and make it yours.
Meet me, my love....
Anywhere, anytime, anyplace.
Share my soul and be one with me
I'm in love; i can honestly say it amazing, i've never been happy in my life than i do now. Tee Hee hee.
Jade Mary Carroll and I are finally i couple, god how long has it taken, just to assure you. She mine and i fucking love her. :)
I love you.
(L) |
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| Fresh Start. |
[May. 6th, 2008|12:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | loved | ] |
Exactly what we need.
I Love You.
x |
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| Blur. |
[May. 6th, 2008|12:20 pm] |
This weekend has been some what of a blur to me; its failed to impress me at all. My star, my princess and my world, told me she couldn't be with me. My heart broke in too, although its a fresh start were having and forgetting the past, however i can't forget how i am meant to forget the first time she told me she loved me. All the things we talked about, everything that has mattered, all the things we have found out about each other, makes me wonder was it all for nothing before, but this time i'm going to really try and show her that i trust in her with my whole heart; my life even, i'd take a bullet for that girl, i'd give her the world and all she needed to do was ask me too. The day hat our eyes lock onto each othe will be the day i become whole the day were every sorrow and pain in my life will disapear. Before i met Jade i used to write poems that were about death, sadness and hurt;
The rain was falling fast,
The wind was blowing hard,
That night she took the knife,
And made her one last scar,
She woke up that morning,
And just couldn't shake the pain,
She was sick and she was tired,
And she was always so ashamed,
Looking in the mirror,
Only invited hurtful tears,
So she went into the bathroom,
And got the cutting sheers,
She went to school that day,
And tried hard to hide the incisions,
But everyone already knew,
About her? terrible decision?
Then when she got home,
Her parents just didn't care,
She really needed to talk to them,
But they just couldn't be there,
A recent suicide attempt,
Had stolen their attention,
So the only thing she really felt,
Was complete and total rejection,
She went up to her room,
And tried to talk to her? best friend?,
But she didn't want to listen,
She didn't want to help her mend,
Then she turned on her music,
Hoping it would calm her down,
Something inside must have broken,
Because inside herself, she drowned,
She began to beg and plead,
As she slid down on her door,
She said? God I'm begging you!!,
I don't want to hurt anymore?
And yet she went unanswered,
For the angels lost her prayer,
And that's when she decided,
She didn't belong anywhere,
So she wrote a goodbye note,
That said what she'd been hiding,
And told them how there was no one,
That would be there for her confiding,
Then she took the knife,
And dug it deep within,
Her fragile wrists were torn,
No remains of untouched skin,
There she laid herself down,
And made her final cry,
Hating herself and regretting,
Ever wanting to die,
But the rain was falling fast,
And the wind was blowing hard,
That night she took the knife,
And made her one last scar.
But snce knowing Jade she has completely changed me, and i must say for the better, she has opened my eyes to thinks i never thought existed, to emotions that i never thought i could ever feel and she made me write poems about happiness, love and devotion;
After I stopped believing
that love could ever be real.
Giving up on what I knew,
I thought my heart wouldn't heal.
To me love was just a game,
a game that I could never win.
Losing everything I had,
everything that could've been.
Then here you come into my life
changing the thoughts in my mind.
Bringing me to a new start
leaving all my pain behind.
You're the reason that I write,
brand new poems of true love.
You've given me the things I need,
everything that I've dreamed of.
You showed me how to love again,
the things I lost; in you I found.
You gave me a reason to smile,
you said I had no need to frown.
I will forever be greatful
for everything you have to give.
All the happiness I needed,
and another reason to live.
Every time I hear your name,
a smile forms across my face.
A new feeling...everlasting,
that I know nothing can replace.
I'm so thankful that I have you,
you're there when I need you most.
I don't want anything else,
I just want to hold you close.
I know you'll stay right by my side,
and walk with me that extra mile.
Your love is my reason to live,
and you are my reason to smile
And you have to say that if someone can change you from this too that, then they are worth so much more than life it's self.
I'm a never let you go.
I love you Jade Mary Carroll.
xxx |
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| More than just a mere memory |
[May. 6th, 2008|11:38 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | College | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
Your personality; described as beautiful
Your smile; contagious
The thought of losing you; hurtfully tenacious
When the fateful day comes,
and you decide you've had enough of me,
please know that, you are my world
and more than just a mere memory. |
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| small post! |
[Apr. 18th, 2008|01:41 pm] |
I haven’t wrote in four days so I guess I have some free time now so I guess I’ll do a post. On Wednesday I went out to Avenham Park, had some pear cider (Y). With Katie, Emma, Lily, Katrina and Hannah. It was an alright day to be honest, I’d would of much rather my girl of been there I have to say Jade has really annoyed me to breaking point, she swore on my life that she could come on the 1st, 8th or 15th of may, all of them being Thursdays, then she turns around to me and decides to tell me she can’t come Thursday but only the Friday ahhhh. I couldn’t believe her I well thought I had cracked her but no she always seems to out smart me. So I’ve come to the conclusion that she is coming on the 2nd or 9th. But she says she going to tell me on Friday next week HAHA. As if. I’m going to get sacked. SCORE. I love Jadeeee. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2008|11:57 am] |
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This is going to be about my family; I can honestly say I could never live without them.
Hilton Dean Taylor
Even though I only knew my dad for six and a half years, I still miss him, I still feel he is a part of me. Its been twelve years since his death, 1st August 1996. At first I didn’t really understand, I was told by my mum what I said. When she told me that my father was dead and wasn’t coming back, I blamed her, I actually turned around to her and said, “It’s your fault, you wanted him dead” I look back upon that statement and realise how harsh I was, she love’s my father and I turned around and probably broke her heart. My little brother didn’t really understand, but one dinner time her turned around and said, “If we find dad a new skin can he come back”. when my mum told me this it drained every emotion from my body, it effected my brother more than me as me and my father were close, he used to spoil me, yet him and my little brother didn’t really do much together. My brother has only just fully got over it, about a year ago and I’ve never seen him so happy.
I think back to memory’s that I have of him, pushing me on the swings, asking to go higher, waiting on the stairs after my bedtime, just waiting for him to come home, I used to get dun and as soon as he walked in the door, he’d never say hi to my mum or anything, he’d come straight up to me and put me to bed.
Yes he did bad things in his life, he did drugs, but my mum was the only person to get him off them, yes he cheated on my mum twice, even a time when she was having a operation that could of killed her. But his my dad I love him, and yeah when he died he has had a few drinks, with his mate mankey, but it wasn’t enough to be seen as dead by drink driving, how ever my dads best mate blamed himself for his death as he was the one who asked him for a couple of drinks, he then later killed himself. But I love my dad and I respect him so much, and miss him with all of my heart.
1st August 1990 R.I.P
David Turner.
Then there’s my Granddad, what a fucking trooper, I fucking loved him, he was my escape, I used to stay with him all the time and he helped me so fucking much, and even though I was older he used to call me his little princess, he had a false leg, I used to take it and hide it so he couldn’t get out of bed. I remember when he went to hospital and he had just had his leg chopped off and he tried to get out of bed thinking he still had it, but he feel flat on his face, still the best memory I have, was amazing, and he just said George your going to pay for laughing at me. He’s my fucking hero.
18th January 2006. - R.I.P.
Cora Jade Vaughan.
This girl was pretty amazing.
She never deserved to die.
I guess one day cancer will get the majority of us.
She was always full of life, she was always smiling and no one ever got her down, if she was here now she’d of been so beautiful, no word of a lie.
21st April 2001 R.I.P
I guess everyone has to go, the might be in the past by in our hearts forever,
My family now are all amazing in so many ways.
I’m not going to explain but show in pictures.
These all mean my life.
Pictures soon.
finish later.
x
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| :\ |
[Apr. 13th, 2008|03:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | drained | ] |
I had wrote so much to go here, but i deleted it.
I Love You.
Jade |
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| Friends? |
[Apr. 12th, 2008|07:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bitchy | ] |
Lets start to question my so called friend;
A wanker.
Sorted. |
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| And If you want roses, I'll buy a bouquet. |
[Apr. 12th, 2008|09:40 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  giggly | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Tagan and Sara. | ] |
Last night I did something horrible, terrible, I was a complete bitch to the girl I love, the girl I consider my world, the girl I can honestly say I’d like to spend the rest of my life with because trying to imagine her not in my life is impossible, even unthinkable. I truly believe this girl was made for me and somehow we were meant to find each other it wasn’t just a coincident. Last night I had a go at her because she hasn’t come to see me yet, but I know she will. She sent me a text saying. “You don’t believe I’m going to come and see you. And said its not fair. I’ll tell you what isn’t fair Gina. Not being able to come and see the girl I love because of my wank ex. Don’t tell me what’s fair Gina”. I can honestly say reading that made me break down in floods of tears, I can’t believe how inconsiderate I was and how I didn’t think about her and what she’s going through because I know deep down its killing her.
Say Anything - I want to know your plans “You're what keeps me believing this world's not long dead.
Strength in my bones and the words in my head.
They pour out to paper, it's all for you
'Cause that's what you do. That's what you do".
On a lighter note, last night was okay because of the people I saw, I went out with, Steph and Mikey, but when I got to the vic there were tones of people I hadn’t see for ages, which was immense to see them and just catch up. There always bound to have drama going on at the vic it’s a pure must, whether its between a couple, friends or enemies there bound to be something you can watch to make your night a little more interesting. I doubt the people who I’m talking about will read this but I’m not mentioning any names. To be honest at the vic there used to be so many lesbians it was amazing. Ha-ha. I remember the good old days, summer time, sun shining, Laura, Jess, Stacie, Amy, Jess, Lily, Katrina, Lou, Katie, Emma, Steph, Mikey, Jodie and Spud. We go back now and there is no one everyone has moved on, some gone to university. Laura and Stacie are engaged its made to think in the space of six months everything can change and be flipped on its head. Yet I’m happy at times when things have changed because I can feel a sense of happiness and sense of newness, the times of getting off with random girls have gone, the time when I tried to pull are just a distance memory. I used to be a player, I admit that, going girl to girl, but one girl has changed me for the better. Made me think about the future with her someone I’d never think I do, I’d never thought about marriage, then Jade came along and to be honest that one of my dreams to make her my wife. To provide for her. I know you might think its stupid, you might think I’m too young. But I’m eighteen, and I know I lover her and to me that is all that matters; she has forgiven me for so much shit and if a girl can stand to be with someone like me then she must be a keeper. Say Anything - I want to know your plans.
“I'll look out for you till I die
Till I'm gone... yeah
I'll remember you till I die (till i die)
Till I'm gone"
I have work today, which I can highly say I can’t be arsed. I keep getting disciplinary for things that are so pathetic and not even work the breath they take in the interview room; “Minor in subornation” not following mangers instructions, to be fair why do they use long works like that to make themselves sound smart, well fuck them there not smart, there not amazing; they aren’t shit there just people who got shit in the GCSE’s and got reduced to working in “New Look “ to be honest I’m only there because I need the dollar. But I’ll move on to bigger and better things. Were the real deal. <3
Gina. x
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| Stand Up, Sit Down! |
[Apr. 11th, 2008|01:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
Well I’ve had a week off college so far, and i feel i have done nothing productive with my time whatsoever, all I've done is work, been online or talked on the phone - which I'm not complaining about.
I haven't really thought about much today if I'm totally honest, which is out of character of me as I'm normally on over drive. Lately my mind has been somewhat of a dream, thinking in to things that are going to happen or could possibly happen, the way my mind works is that I pick out every detail of the day I’ve just had, I think how if I had done things different what effect it would have on me and others around me, such as last night if I hadn’t sent that one text, were would I be now, what would of happened, or for instance if I’d never met some people in my life; which I can never imagine as my life wouldn’t be worth much.I’ve decided I need to change, make my self more productive, more motivated and get my arse into gear or I’m never going to pass my A levels, I look over into the future and I feel now this is were my life begins, this is it, university and then real life. Working for the rest of my life, gaining a family that I’ll have to provide for and you know what, it’s a scary fucking thought. Moving out, six months ago it all felt so far away but now I’m snapping up to reality thinking seriously and how I only have twenty five days left in college till I’m on study leave the prospect of that scares the shit out of me. Next year is going to be a rollercoaster, the only thing I’m dead certain on is having my girl with me in 2009. To be honest that sounds like a plan. Going out tonight minttt.
Gina x |
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| Hurt or Happiness? |
[Apr. 10th, 2008|07:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | cheerful | ] |
Hurt or Happiness; is what I’m deciding to feel... However i have both of these feelings in many respects.
I'm hurting because the one girl that makes me feel so special, on top of the world even... well i haven't even met her. We talk on the phone for hours each day, and we utter pure crap but yet we can still keep a conversation going, even when were silent it isn't awkward, and if i make a stupid noise, say something pathetic or get upset over something so stupid she'd still sit there and listen to every word i have to say and never judge me on anything, which is amazing to have someone like that; someone i can turn to when the going gets tough or i can't deal with the shit around me, she always a phone call away. A month or so she told me she loved me, at first i was shocked, scared, backing out of talking to her, but then i started to think if i loved her, and i really do, Yet i still haven't met her and it completely eat me up inside like a thousand knives are stabbing into my stomach. So much shit has happened to us, but it has made us stronger and we wouldn't be were we are today if it wasn't for over coming all this crap we have had to deal with. The only thing I’d change is seeing her in person, being able to see her reaction to things i say, facial expressions, i long for that day...
However I am so happy its not even possible for a human to be this happy, or to have this feeling, deep down I know it is but somehow I feel I’m the only person experience this feeling. Also knowing that I will see her soon, I know I’m having to wait for her, wait to see her, wait for her to be my girl. But I already feel like she is my girl, everything is set out in my head, plans I have. I’m just hoping my plans don’t backfire and then I’ll be back to the beginning not knowing what is going to happen or were I’ll be, go into a state of emptiness, but what I’m trying to say is Jade, is you makes me so happy, you make me feel wanted, worth something and I can honestly say that no girl nor person has ever made me feel this way, LEAVE ME, and I will kick your arse! Got it. Okay good.
I Give My Heart To You My heart feels so complete
Now that I'm with you
A love like ours will last forever
A love so pure and true
If I were to ever fall
And lose all of my sense
I know you'll be there for me
To make me feel less tense
Before I knew just who you are
My life was such a mess
You came and saved me from my hell
So now I must confess
I'm trusting you with my heart
It's all that remains of me
So please try not to break it
Please handle it carefully
I know that I am safe
When I look into your eyes
When you hold me in your arms
And silence my painful cries
You're mine to hold and love
And I promise I won't let go
Please promise me the same
And tell me you love me so
Every morning I'm so happy
For you're the one I wake up to
Please see that I love you dearly
I give my heart to you Thanks for reading if anyone does.
Comment me if you like.
Gina. x
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| Refreshed |
[Apr. 10th, 2008|01:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Bedroom | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | determined | ] |
Today i feel really refreshed, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things and decided that everything happens for a reason. The reason for this thought is that i was doing a quiz on Myspace, and i question asked was "If you could turn back time would you?" and to be honest i wouldn't because i look over things that have happened throughout my life and come to realise that each thing that has happened has made me stronger in so many ways, for instance; my father dying, i feel like this had really made me stronger as a person, some people could say it makes it easier for you to get over other people dying. But that truly isn't the case because many people have come and gone and it still hurts every time, i do regret letting them go, letting them walk out, not fighting to keep them in my life and giving up at the first hurdle, but not anymore I’m going to fight for what i truly want and when i have complete ruin my body, my mind and my heart will i then give up. But I assure you that this won’t happen with one person in my life right now. :) Today my ex girlfriend came round to collect the rest of her things and I now truly feel that she is finally out of my life, no longer will she be contacting me so excessively and I can say it is an amazing feeling and knowing I can now I can move on out of that part of my life to start a fresh. I feel today 10th April 2008 is the Turing part of this year, I have a family that are always here for me, I have a gorgeous girl <3 and I got into Blackpool and Fylde college to study Art and Design and that would have not been possible if my girl hadn’t persuaded me to attend the interview. So at least I now have a round about idea of what is going to be happening in my life for the next twelve months and hopefully everything will be amazing. Gina. |
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| What is this feeling? |
[Apr. 8th, 2008|12:41 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | content | ] |
Guess I’ll start off my first post with the topic of "I Love You".
Right now i am utterly crazy about this girl.
Jade Mary Carroll.
The thing is three months ago i swore to myself that I’d never fall in love again, that I’d never give my heart to another soul after it being crush. I've always been told love is a great thing, magical even. Yet that diminishes the fact that no one ever told me the down side to love, how one slight word can change you completely. How the words "I Love You" could have so much meaning, how it opens Pandora’s box and all these's emotions you never thought you had are there all at once destroying everything you've built up, building up the strength to fight love to over come it and save you from falling into a world of paranoia, jealousy and complete devotion.
Yet somehow; I wouldn't change it for the world, if someone said to me, would you give up love and never have pain, I’d reply with the words, "No" because being in love sometimes means pain, sometimes means hundreds of emotions. Falling in love with Jade has to be the best thing ever, now i have to over come the fear of a broken heart of being left for someone better. But i trust in her that she won't, only time will tell if I’m wrong to lay my heart on the line.
Gina. |
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[Apr. 7th, 2008|12:00 am] |
I have no clue of why i opened this up or what for,
I guess its just for people who are interested in reading about other peoples lives to be honest. I can assure you now that all my livejournal is going to contain is ramblings of utter shit.
So hi,
enjoy reading.
Gina.
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gee_na's journal